Infant's nighttime play irks sleepy dad

Q. Our first baby, Chloe, is 1 month old. I am nursing her andshe shares our room. Unfortunately, she hasn't yet learned thatnights are for sleeping. By day she takes several long naps,sleeping most of the day. Her up time seems to be at night, when shesleeps very little and is usually alert and playful. As a result, Inurse her several times each night. Her sleeping patterns areespecially hard on my working husband. When will Chloe discover thatnights are for sleeping and days for fun and games?

A. I am sure that Chloe will eventually learn to sleep at night,but you can hasten a change in her schedule by carefully manipulatingher feedings and wakefulness.

Over the next few weeks, there are a number of changes you cangradually create in Chloe's life. First, make sure her nighttimesleeping room is kept dark (except perhaps for a night light) so thatshe begins to respond to the normal cycle of day and night.

Second, you need to shorten Chloe's daytime naps and feed hermore frequently by day. If she is better nourished by day, she willneed less milk at night. If a daytime nap is more than three hours,try waking her early for a feeding. I would also pick one or twotime periods during the day when you play and talk with Chloe so thatshe stays awake during that time.

If she tires or becomes irritable during these periods, youmight carry her about the house and show her (by pointing and naming)the many objects that furnish your home. When you name an object,touch it while saying its name, then repeat the name as you look intoChloe's eyes.

You will have to catch Chloe's attention with a smile and thendraw her look to the object, then back to your face, smiling andspeaking all the while. These interludes will improve Chloe'sability to make eye contact and to stretch her attention span.

At night, I would try not to play with Chloe. If she is hungry,feed her murmuring softly, but keeping your contacts subdued. Ifshe wakens for extra feedings, perhaps sometimes you can pat her backto put her to sleep and skip the feeding itself.

I am not suggesting that you force a schedule on Chloe. Rather,over several weeks, you can gently nudge her into more wakeful daysand sleepier nights.

You may find that this process occurs in a week or two, or thatfor Chloe it may take a month. And some babies, because of immaturenervous systems, may not sleep through the night for several years.Whatever your child's pattern eventually becomes, try to handlenighttime wakenings quietly and lovingly, but without socializing, sothat the days are reserved for activity.